EULOGY TO INAY

ANG TANGING YAMAN

By Reuben De Las Alas

Foreword:The following is a transcript of the eulogy I delivered at Inay's funeral for the benefit of those grandchildren and relatives who were unable to attend. An English translation follows for those who are not familiar with Tagalog. Now that the two pillars of the family are gone, it is up to us children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and so on to continue their vision and legacy. Our future is secure and bright because they prepared and envisioned it for all of us. Come to think of it, our parents never really amassed any significant wealth in their lifetime but what they bequeathed to all of us- education, strength of character and integrity- are more than any wealth in the world. Let us keep their memory alive and carry their torch everyday of our lives. Warmest regards. God bless us all....Oben/ Tito Oben/Lolo Oben

TANGING YAMAN NG INAY

Eulogy delivered at Inay’s funeral on January 30, 2002 By her 6th son, Reuben

Magandang hapon po sa inyong lahat. Una po ay taos-pusong nagpapasalamat ang aming buong pamilya sa inyong pakikiramay sa mga nakaraang araw ng aming pagdadalamhati. Maaaring kilala o narinig na ninyo ang Inay o si Ka Peling Alas ng Butong, asawa ni Ka Tonying. Ngayong hapon po ay hayaan ninyong ipakilala ko ng husto ang Inay-si Ka Peling Alas- bago natin siya ihatid sa kanyang huling hantungan.

Ang Inay ay ipinanganak na Felisa Maranan kina Mariano Maranan at Leonina Caibigan noong December 12, 1919 sa Butong, Taal, Batangas, pang-anim sa siyam na magkakapatid. Siya po ay 82 years old noong nakaraang December. Laki sa hirap dahil nagkasakit ang kanilang ama noong sila ay maliliit pa, tumulong siya sa kanyang ina at mga kapatid para itaguyod ang pamilya. Ayon sa kanyang salaysay, nagtitinda po siya ng kung anu-anong kakanin tulad ng puto at bibingka. Dahil sa kalagayan ng kanyang pamilya, grade IV lang ang natapos niya. Minabuti niyang tumulong na lang sa kanyang mga magulang at kapatid. Kung anuman ang pagkukulang niya sa edukasyon ay pinunuan naman niya ng “common sense” at kasipagan. Magaling po ang Inay sa pagkukwenta at mental accounting. Natatandaan po niya ang may utang sa kanya kahit walang listahan. Ang Inay po ang “coach” ko sa Arithmetic noong elementary. Siya po ay “average dressmaker”; siya po ang mananahi ng pamilya noong maliliit pa kami hanggang sa mauso ang mga “designer clothes”. Mahilig po siya sa sineng Tagalog at kung pumupunta sa Maynila ay hindi kumpleto ang araw hangga’t hindi nakakapanood ng sine. Paborito po niya pareho si Vilma at Nora samantalang ang kanyang bunsong anak na si Ching ay si Vilma ang pinapaboran. Mahilig din po siya sa ice cream lalo na ang ube at mango flavors.

Anong klaseng asawa si Ka Peling? Kung ikukwento ko sa inyo ang love story ng Tatay at Inay ay hindi tayo matatapos sa hapong ito. Ayon po kay Tia Remy, kanyang nag-iisang buhay na kapatid, ang Tatay daw po ay may ilang naging girlfriends bago siya nag-settle down sa kanyang childhood sweetheart at kapit-bahay na si Peling. Nakapag-celebrate po sila ng 58 wedding anniversaries bago yumao ang Tatay noong Abril 1997. Tulad po ng karaniwang mag-asawa, may mga alitan, tampuhan at di pagkakaunawaan, pero may usapan po sila na hindi lalampas ng 24 hours ang anumang di pagkakasundo at iyan ay tinupad nila sa haba ng kanilang pagsasama. Kung iniisip ninyo na si Ka Peling ay taong-bahay lamang ay nagkakamali kayo. Ang Inay po ay “wind beneath Tatay’s wings”, siya po ang “force behind the throne”, siya po ay kabalikat sa lahat ng family decisions. Ang dalawa pong ito ay di lamang magkabiyak na puso kundi matalik na magkaibigan din.

Anong klaseng ina si Ka Peling? Ipinagmamalaki niyang lagi na siya ay ay 7 anak na may 7 ibat-ibang ugali. Kung papaano nila hinubog ang kanilang anak para magtagumpay at magkaroon ng magandang kinabukasan ay lihim na sila lamang ang makakaalam. Kung ang Tatay ay disciplinarian with a strong voice in the family, ang Inay naman ay may mahinahong tinig at humahagpos ng aming likod. Kami po ay walang ari-arian o minanang yaman. Ang Tatay ko po ay isang government employee lamang, pero sa awa ng Diyos ay nakapagpatapos sila ng isang abogado (Tony, Jr.); isang CPA (Ching); tatlong engineers (Bayani, Jaime at Leland); at dalawang doctors (Ernie at ang inyong lingkod). Si Pabie na kanilang pinalaki ay nakatapos din sana kung hindi nagkasakit. Is there a secret formula? Wala po akong alam na secret formula. Ito lamang po ang masasabi ko – sa aming bahay ko po natutunang magtipid at pagkasyahin ang kaya ng bulsa; magsuot ng luma at hand me downs basta’t malinis at disente; mag-aral ng mabuti; makipagkapwa tao; mangarap at maging maligaya sa lahat ng iyong ginagawa; at higit sa lahat, laging manalig sa Diyos.

Meron po ba siyang paboritong anak? Akala ko po ay ako ang paborito niya pero noong tanungin ko isa-isa ang aking mga kapatid, akala naman nila ay sila ang paborito. Ibig sabihin po ay paborito niya ang lahat niyang anak. Maaaring si Ching po, ang kaisa-isang anak niyang babae, ay medyo nakakalamang, pero kaunti lamang po.

Anong klaseng tao si Ka Peling? Minsan po ay isang kanayon at kaibigan na umuutang ng pera sa kanya. Nagkataon naman po na walang-wala siya noon, pero sa kagustuhan po niyang makatulong ay binutas niya ang kanyang alkansiya na may lamang puro mahahalagang coins. Ganyan po makipagkapwa-tao ang Inay. Ang Diyos lamang po ang makakahusga sa Inay. Pero sa dami po ng dumalaw sa kanya noong lamayan at sa dami ng nakikilibing ngayong hapong ito, wala po akong alinlangan na si Ka Peling ay mabuting tao at mahal ninyo. Alam na ninyo na siya ay active sa simbahan at sa mga civic activities ng kanyang sinilangang barrio Butong. Marami po siyang naging kaibigan along the way.

Bago po ako matapos, may hihilingin po sana ako sa inyong lahat. IPAGDIWANG PO NATIN ANG BUHAY NIYA ! Kung may makita akong luha sa inyong mga mata, sana ito ay luha ng paggalang at pagmamahal. Totoo po na mami-miss natin siya, pero alam natin na sa ay nasa sinapupunan na ng Diyos at muli niyang makapilling ang kanyang one true love na si Ka Tonying, ang Tatay.

Sa darating na araw at maaala-ala ninyo si Ka Peling, sana po na sabihin ninyo “Iyan si Ka Peling Alas ng Butong, ang huwarang Maybahay at Ina, na ang tanging yaman ay kanyang pamilya”.

Maraming salamat uli sa inyong lahat.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. First of all, let me extend my family’s heartfelt thanks to everyone who has mourned with us during the past several days with the loss of our mother.

You probably heard of my mother, Inay to us, Ka Peling to the rest of you, known better half of Ka Tonying Alas of Butong. This afternoon, please allow me to introduce the real Ka Peling before we take her to her final resting place.

Our mother was born Felisa Maranan to Mariano Maranan and Leonina Caibigan, both of Butong, Taal, Batangas on December 12, 1919, and was sixth of nine children. She turned 82 this past December. She remembered growing up poor in a closely knit and happy family mainly because their father got seriously ill when the kids were all still young. Her mother tendered a small sari-sari (variety) store while the kids helped to make ends meet. She sold delicacies such as puto and bibingka (native rice cakes) by peddling around the neighborhood. She dreamt of finishing high school but because of her family’s situation, she quit fourth grade to assist at home. Life was simple then. She married her childhood sweetheart and neighbor, Tonying De Las Alas, at age 19 and started a family in Butong. Despite lack of formal education, Inay was a very intelligent woman with a lot of common sense and was an accountant in her own right. She was good with numbers, knew how to handle money, and could recall her debtors from memory. She was my Arithmetic coach during my elementary days. Inay was an average dressmaker who custom-made outfit for every member of the family until the designers made her style obsolete.

Inay loved Tagalog movies especially drama and comedies. When she visited her kids in Manila where they were schooled, her day would not be complete without a trip to the movie house. She favored both superstars Vilma Santos and Nora Aunor, whereas Ching, her only daughter, favored Vilma. Inay had a sweet tooth particularly for ice cream with ube and mango flavors. If she offered to buy you an ice cream, that meant she wanted one for herself.

How good a wife is Ka Peling? If I tell you my parent’s love story, we will not be done all afternoon. According to Tiya Remy, Inay’s only surviving sibling, our father had a girlfriend or two before he settled down with our mother. Like ordinary couples, they had their differences, share of arguments and petty quarrels but they vowed to themselves not to let any misunderstanding go beyond 24 hours. They did and they were blessed with 58 wedding anniversaries. They would have celebrated their 59th in 1997 when my father passed away. She stayed in the background most of the time but she was really the wind beneath Tatay’s wings, the force behind the throne and shared in all family decisions. These two were not only sweethearts; they were also best of friends. Inay really earned the title “Tatay’s better half”.

How good a mother is Ka Peling? She was always proud of having 7 children with 7 different traits. How they raised these children to become successful and professionals they are today, is a treasure that only my parents knew. If Tatay was the disciplinarian with a powerful voice in the family, my mother had calming presence and gentle touch. As far I know, my parents cannot boast of any inheritance or acquired wealth. My father was just a humble government employee, but with sheer determination, perseverance and strong faith in God, they were able to raise a lawyer (Tony, Jr.); a CPA (Ching); three engineers (Bayani, Jaime and Leland); and two physicians (Ernie and yours truly). An adopted son, Pabie, would have earned a degree had he not gotten sick. Is there a secret formula? None that I know of. But these I will tell you. From our humble home, I learned how to value education and study hard; how not to spend beyond your means; how to deal with people fairly; how to be content with what you have, be happy and follow your dreams; how to wear hand me downs and worn out clothes as long as they are clean and decent; most of all, to have faith in God always.

Did Inay play favorites with her children? I thought I was the apple of her eye but my brothers and my only sister thought they were, too. I think she loved all her children although Ching, the youngest child and only daughter, might have an edge but just a little bit.

How is Ka Peling as a person? When I was young, I remember a friend and barrio mate who came to borrow money from my mother. With no cash on hand, my mother, being the true friend that she was, cracked her piggy bank full of collectible coins, just to help a friend in need. That was how my mother usually treated people. Only God can judge her, but the throng of people who are gathered here today made me realize how popular and how you all must have loved and respected here. As you all know during her healthier days, she was very active in church and was committed to civic groups in her beloved Butong. She would lead in prayer meetings and would recite the Litany and novenas from memory. She made a lot of friends along the way.

In closing, I would like to ask all of you a favor. LET US CELEBRATE HER LIFE! She lived her life to the fullest and made a difference to all people she touched. If I see tears in your eyes, I hope they are tears of respect and love. True, we are going to miss her but she is now in the arms of her Creator to join her one true love, Ka Tonying, our father.

In the days ahead, if you happen to remember my mother, I hope you will say, “That is Ka Peling Alas of Butong, devoted wife and wonderful mother, whose real treasure is her family”.

Thank you very much.